Going back to what I know

So today, I went to Patrick's house to help him do a repair on a bass he made for his brother known as Frankenbass. A monster of woods thrown together with a pretty plain body with some custom features upon the request of his brother. I was sanding, which is something I take great pride in doing when working on an instrument. It's something I know I'm great at, and I know I can do with great care. It seems easy, but it takes a toll on your hands. I enjoyed it, I needed it to be honest.

While I was working on Frankenbass, Patrick was working on his new upcoming bass, a fretless with two scrolls and another monster of woods thrown together to be given the name "The Boxer Bass". And while working side by side for the first time since summer with Patrick, I felt totally humbled to be working with such a man of the craft. Doing something you're completely passionate about is something else, it really is. I love what I do and I'm lucky to have found what I love now instead of when I'm 40 facing some severe depression.

While working, we were talking about a very accomplished luthier, Carl Thompson. He's the man who builds Les Claypool's basses and Stanley Clarke's basses. He's a force to be reckoned with. Now while he may be accomplished, he's not passionate about what he does. Carl builds because he has orders to fill now and it's beyond his control. He wanted to be a jazz guitarist, but when word got out that he built an instrument, requests were made for him to build for others.

That is the worst.

I said that it hurts that someone we both look up to hates what he does. Then Patrick said something that made a lot of sense, "never meet your heroes". I think Patrick was let down more than me when he found this out. I mean I love Carl and his work, but Patrick builds because of him. Patrick's reason for anything related to bass building or repair comes from Carl. For me, I saw Patrick's bass during Children's Theater and I wanted him to build me one, but his basses are quite costly so I asked him to teach me how to build one. Ever since I started, I can't stop. My real hero is Stuart Spector, look his ass up dawgs. I want to work for him, but after hearing Patrick say what he said, I'm worried about meeting him and possibly being let down, I don't know how I'd regard the craft after hearing that what he's doing is just to make money, not to make people happy or himself. I can't handle that kind of news.


"Never meet your heroes" -Patrick Goodsell

Space, and why I can't go there.

So lately I've been pretty sad. But before I tell you what I've been sad about, you have to know how I think. I think logically, but with a different view than others. I've been told I'm "an intellectual thinker" and I feel weird accepting that title, I'd rather just call myself curious. So, why I've been sad:

Last year I started noticing the stars at night and the moon and how the night time seems to make me feel. I love space, in fact, I want to go to the moon in the worst way, but for me, it's impossible. I realized this after hearing a quote on a show I watch every now and then called Futurama. Here's the quote:

"Oh. I never told anybody this, but a thousand years ago I used to look up at the moon and dream about being an astronaut. I just didn't have the grades. Or the physical endurance. Plus I threw up a lot, and nobody liked spending a week with me." -Fry

A humorous quote, yes, but the message is pretty much the same for me. It's painful to see something so beautiful and know you'll never be able to touch it, but I suppose that may be why I'm so infatuated with a giant rock in space. The fact that something only very few and fortunate people can experience my dream hurts. I'm so used to having things my way, and this is just shattering to me. I feel like a 5 year old because of my id, but I can't help it. And I dare you to go upstate and look at those stars and tell me that they aren't beautiful and that you wish there was just one other person you could share that moment with because seeing it alone would be too much for one person.

So today, instead of lyrics from a song, I'm leaving pictures for you all. Maybe it'll help those who don't understand why I want to go so badly. And yes, I'm a firm believer in other life forms beyond our knowledge.

http://www.emathclass.com/pictures/gods-eye.jpg

http://wanderingspace.net/wp-content/uploads/2007/05/space-walk.jpg

http://originalbeauty.files.wordpress.com/2009/06/spiral20galaxy.jpg

http://rriderlausd.org/blog2/wp-content/uploads/2009/04/galaxy.jpg

http://betsydevine.com/blog/pictures/MoonFlip.gif

http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1152/1468750051_b0e4e6d2ed.jpg

http://www.ref6.com/images/P7078920.jpg

As promised, Tober updates.

Recently, I found that there is no band saw that I am aware of that can cut the Alder blank for the body, so I told Patrick I had no where to go and he suggested I use a coping saw. Great. I have to hand cut out the body of the bass, sand the edges, throw the body in a planer (a planer is a device for shaving off thickness of wood which will help me big time and is VERY necessary for me), establish contours, a profile, and round the horns and the scroll. Sounds like a lot right? Well, it is. While I'm not happy that I have to hand cut the body out, I feel it will make the instrument that much more personal when I finish it and make me appreciate it so much more. After I finish my PiG paper, I'll be able to start working on my bass again after a very long hiatus.

Leah Pupkin: I have your bass (obviously). He's all cleaned up, fixed, tuned, and ready for playing. I'll bring him to you friday in STAC, provided that works for you.

Everyone else: I fix instruments as well. I put that before building/working on any of my own instruments. If any of you have a guitar/bass/mandolin/banjo/ukulele that needs fixing and you want it done well and for free, tell me and I can do it for you. FREE of charge! I apologize for selling myself, but it's a passion of mine. I can fix your instruments during a weekend and get it back to you when ever you need it. After every repair, I clean your instrument, removing any fingerprint or scratch that was ever on the instrument.

Leah lent me her knock-off music man bass (which I love) and I noticed there were a few problems with the instrument. The action was VERY high, the fretboard needed cleaning, and the electronics needed to re-wired better. All of this was addressed in one night. The next thing that needs to be taken care of is new strings are needed, which really isn't bad at all.

Again, anyone need a repair? Tell me and I'll work for free and I promise you'll be satisfied.

PiG Paper..Que? Donde?

So my PiG paper is due thursday and to be quite honest, I'm not that nervous about it. For the first time (academically) I stood on my own two feet, and did it on my own, and what a time to start, senior year. I have terrible anxiety problems, and when it comes to papers, I usually stress more than I should, but this time, I took my time and didn't wait to the last minute. I broke it down step by step and did the work, and now, for the first time in a long time, I'm quite proud of myself. There are some people who have yet to start the paper, and I can relate to them. I've been that person for too long, and I found that being in that scenario makes me uncomfortable, sick, angry, annoyed, and extremely upset. I get a weird feeling on my shoulders, like a weight, and the worst part is, I know it can be avoided, so I get really angry at myself for letting myself for winding up in that position. But this time around, I have a job, a giant paper, christmas is around the corner and I need to buy presents, the anniversary of my Uncle's death and the death of my godmother's mom, Annie. You would think all these things would make me not even approach a computer with microsoft word on it, but I'm proud to say, I plan on finishing my PiG paper tonight and when I do, I'll feel more accomplished then ever before.

For everyone who is and will be writing the PiG paper, just remember this, IT'S JUST A PAPER! Stop worrying so much! Break it down like I did, and you'll avoid weeks of stress. Just because it's a graduation requirement doesn't make it life or death. Try and get it for 1st semester because if you do fail it, which I doubt, you'll have second semester to write again and make sure you don't make the same mistakes. Make goals for each time you go to work on your paper! My goal is to finish it tonight and my goal for tomorrow is to edit it and fix up little things here and there. Just don't stress. Relax. Relax. Relax. Relax. RELAX. Xaler. Relax. Relax. Relax. Relax.

"My pro-creator I have warned thee of my prophecy. Until that day, stand your fucking ground. My pro-creator, stand your fucking ground."
Artist: WhiteChapel Song: Father of Lies
(For Jack Morrow)

Come on children
You´re acting like children
Every generation thinks
its the end of the world
Artist: Wilco Song: You Never Know

Jill's Idea

So on my last post, I talked about a weird dream I had. Jill suggested that I go on dream dictionary website. I went on and looked up things that show up quite a bit in my dreams, here is what I found.

Perpetual Motion To dream of perpetual motion, indicates that you are experiencing general anxiety and nervousness over a situation. You may desire a change from the repetitive and/or predictable behavior from your job, relationship or daily life.

In certain dreams I have, I'm punching someone or something (I'm typically a very passive person) and I feel like there is some sort of force holding me back from letting me throw a full punch, and it's frustrating as hell.

Singing To sing in your dream, represents happiness, harmony and joy in some situation or relationship. You are uplifting others with your positive attitude and cheerful disposition. Singing is a way to celebrate, communicate and express your feelings.

In the dream I had recently, I was singing (screaming) along with the lyrics, but I wasn't mic'd. I was playing and singing along in the excitement of playing.

Fighting To dream that you are in a fight, indicates inner turmoil. Some aspect of yourself is in conflict with another aspect of yourself. Perhaps an unresolved or unacknowledged part is fighting for its right to be heard. It may also parallel a fight or struggle that you are going through in your waking life

This goes along with the punching. I'm stressed and it's mainly with myself. I want to be a better person but I constantly find myself being the person I want to run from when I'm with my friends.

Baby
To see a baby in your dream, signifies innocence, warmth and new beginnings. Babies symbolize something in your own inner nature that is pure, vulnerable, helpless and/or uncorrupted. If you find a baby in your dream, then it suggests that you have acknowledged your hidden potential. If you dream that you forgot you had a baby, then it suggests that you are trying hide your own vulnerabilities; You do not want to let others know of your weaknesses. If you dream that you are on your way to the hospital to have a baby, then it signifies your issues of dependency and your desire to be completely care for. Perhaps you are trying to get out of some responsibility. If you are pregnant, then a more direct interpretation may simply mean that you are experiencing some anxieties of making it to the hospital when the time comes.�

Not too long ago, I had a dream that I had a baby. I simply had a baby in my arms, I was a father and I didn't seem to mind at all. It almost seemed like nothing new to me.

To dream that you are hitting your father. represents a desperate need for greater closeness with your father. You feel that he is not listening to you. In particular, if you are hitting your father with a rubber object, indicates that whatever you are doing or telling him has no significant effect on him. Things just literally bounces off him.

Just so everyone knows: my parents are divorced. My father and I went our separate ways, I mean complete opposites. My father and I actually have a strong dislike for one another, and because he isn't in my life, I constantly attach myself to older male figures. Almost every male companion I have that's older than me is treated like a father and their lessons are kept in my head and are constantly used. My dad didn't support me as an artist. He thought writing was something girls did and music was ok, if it was guitar, which I don't play (well). I've been a let down to him as he to me.

If you play a musical instrument in your waking life, then the dream may serve as a rehearsal to improve your technique.

I suppose it makes sense, but I wish I knew why I was crying and playing, it's still bothering me quite a bit.

Musical
To dream that you are watching a musical, indicates that you need to be careful not to get carried away by your emotions

Not too long ago, I had a dream Into The Woods was up again, but playing in the gym. In my dream, Luke told me to "take over" because he had to go somewhere, so I directed the play and was sitting in the bleachers waiting with excitement to see the show. Out of no where during the show, something like that of a monster showed up, and I had a severe nervous breakdown/panic attack. Silly, I know. But every night when the show was up, I'd go, and the monster thing would come back and I would repeat the breakdown.

Monster
To�dream that you are chased or followed by a monster, represents aspects of yourself that you find repulsive and ugly. You may possess some fears or some repressed emotions. Try to confront the monster in your dream and figure out who or what aspect of yourself the monster represents.

Woah. I may have some things I need to sort out on my own.

Brother
To see your brother in your dream, may symbolize some aspect of your relationship with him. It can also serve to remind you that someone in your waking life has certain characteristics/behavior similar to your brother's.

A lot of people have my brother Anthony's shitty cliche sense of humor that I simply can't stand. It's really annoying and every "zinger" you have to offer is so predictable. Thank GOD there isn't anyone in STAC like this.

Punch
To dream that you are punching someone or something, represents hidden anger and aggression. It may also be a symbol of power and your ability to draw strength from within yourself. To dream that you are unable to throw a punch, indicates that you are feeling helpless. You may have self-esteem and confidence issues.

This is very true. My confidence can either be REALLLLLLY low or at a median. I've realized recently where my confidence level is at regarding girls. When I first started dating my girlfriend, I felt that if anything went wrong, I would be able to have the confidence to ask out another girl like nothing had ever happened. If something were to happen now, I'd be broken because I've realized how much of my life is now related to my girlfriend and I FEEL (KEYWORD, FEEL) that I could never find anyone else. Again, it's simply a feeling, not a reality.

So these are the most reoccuring things in my dreams and what I found is really interesting. Thank you, Jill for giving me the idea to look up my dreams. It all makes (some) sense.

Further: There's a song by a weird band Leah Pupkin and I like called Andrew Jackson Jihad called Daddy Didn't Love Me that totally explains (oddly) my father and I's relationship. Here are the lyrics, please don't take them too seriously.

Well, once when I was eight
everything was going great
until my father, he tried to kill me.
By the time that I was nine,
my daddy was doing time,
and my mother had enlisted in the army.

I wish my father had loved me more.

By the time was that I was ten
my dad's life was going to end
'cause he was going on ninety.
By the time I was eleven
my daddy was up in heaven
in the clouds, staring down at me.

And I can't help but miss him even though he hit me everyday.
And he tried to hang me with a belt once.
And he took nude photographs of my body.

And by the time that I was twelve, I had made my first million.
And by the time that I was fourteen, I had found the cure to cancer.
And by the time that I was fourteen, I was the president of the country
And by the time that I was fifteen, I was the champion of the world.

So I'm glad my daddy didn't love me.
And I'm glad that he tried to kill me.
And I'm glad he took those pictures of me.
I am glad my daddy didn't love me,
I said I'm glad my daddy didn't love me

Outside of myself

So this weekend was a bit weird for me, I was confronted with a reality that no one wants to ever deal with, a death. I over heard my mom talking to my neighbor about the possibility of my uncle having prostate cancer. I found this out when I got home from visiting him and my aunt...he looked fine, but cancer hides itself. So while my uncle may not have cancer, his death is inevitable and I'm having a hard time convincing myself of this. It's the last thing I want to happen. After 2 deaths last year of very close family members, I'm realizing mortality and the false hope it provides. I've been listening to the MTV unplugged Alice in Chains sessions quite a bit, and I feel like somethings is being put in my head by them and I have no idea what it is, but I gladly accept it. I've been listening to Would? on a loop for a bit now, and I'm becoming more and more attached with the chorus, "Into the flood again/Same old trip it was back then/So I made a big mistake/Try to see it once my way". It doesn't seem to effect me when it's written out as much as it does coming from Layne's voice. But this relates to what is going on in my head right now quite a bit, but lyrics have a way of applying to whatever the listener wants it to. I'm plundering into the same thing as last year, it feels about the same because I know what to expect (which makes it hurt that much more) and my mistake is I don't want to deal with this, it's selfish, but I just wish my family understood. It's too painful. I'm not ready. I'm hurting.

Last night I had a bit of a weird dream. I had a dream I was playing a show with a band. We were playing a song that I'm quite familiar with and had no problem doing so, in fact, I love playing this song. Less than half way into the song, I started hysterical crying while playing. It was weird. I played the song, jumped around, and screamed along, all while crying. I didn't mind it too much, I played with more feeling than I ever had. After the song finished, I was still crying uncontrollably. I walked down from the stage, and hugged my brother. I soon woke up teary eyed. I have no idea what this dream meant to be honest, but I wish I did. It's something I can't forget.

Updated: Things to Throw at a City

1) Indiana -Watercolor Paintings
2) Skinny Love -Bon Iver
3) Chelsea Hotel No. 2 -Leonard Cohen
4) No Cars Go -Arcade Fire
5) In the Aeroplane Over the Sea -Neutral Milk Hotel
6) Needle in the Hay -Elliot Smith
7) Cecilia -Simon and Garfunkel
8) Sense, Sensibility -Andrew Jackson Jihad
9) Such Great Heights -Iron and Wine
10) The Only Living Boy in New York -Simon and Garfunkel

So this is the playlist I came up with for the magazine. Let me know what you think. Which song is your favorite? What is it about the song that you enjoy most? Do you prefer the lyrics or do enjoy the instrumentation? Would you dedicate a song on here to anyone? Would it change how you see them? THOUGHTS! I NEED EM GUYS!

an example for what I'm looking for:
My favorite song is Indiana by Watercolor Paintings. The song makes you confront the pain of having someone you love far away from you. Rebeca's voice is so frail to me. It's a sound that can't be reproduced by anyone else in this world and it makes me feel fortunate enough to even know it. I personally adore the lyrics for this song. It's simple without anything really clever, but not blunt. In other words, it's relate-able. I'd probably dedicate Sense, Sensibility to Leah, I've been reflecting on my friendship with her a lot lately and since she's a fellow AJJ fan, consider it from one fan, to another. It did when one night a bunch of friends were going to Checkers and we put on the AJJ cd I made for her and we were the only ones paying attention to it and we were singing along to practically every song and it was just nice to sing these weird songs with a friend, I'm very grateful for my friendship with her, we met in elementary school, stopped talking in 6th grade, started talking again for a bit in 8th lost touch again, then we started talking and hanging out last year. We've changed quite a bit as people, but as friends, nothing has changed at all, and I wouldn't change that for the world.



"And I hope our candles flicker and die so that our hearts don't burn to the ground, down, down, just like Randy's house. "
Artist: Andrew Jackson Jihad
Song: Randy's House

Let The Right One In...

WHAT THE HELL?! This week has been vampire central for me, it's a pinch odd. Jack was being bothered by girls about twilight so I posted a picture of a band him and I like called Dr Acula. The girls probably didn't look, nor did they care. Soon later, Jack posted one of their songs on my wall and soon later a former STACie, Scott Reisher, posted a video by the band called "Is This a Party, or is This a Dick Measuring Contest". Weird name, I know. Now I listened to the song and 35 seconds in, something is said that relates COMPLETELY to Let The Right One In. I won't say what it is, I want you all to go and listen for yourselves and make the connection http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xALbylyJxHY

Funny, right? So the movie, really something else. We talked alot about sound, which is up my alley. I posted a comment on Jill's awesome post talking about how even if you're completly quiet, there is still noise, and it's beyond your control or anyone's for that matter. White noise. It's everywhere. I also shared how I believe silence is just a concept. Nothing in this world is silent. It's impossible. Also, the way the characters dressed really hinted as to what they were like, way before you were formally introduced to them. Take Oskar for example, his clothes seem really out dated compared to Conny's clothes and everyone else, he just doesn't fit in. Eli had basic girl outfits through out the whole movie, but when you find out she's a vampire and 200 something years old, you realize that while it seems normal to us, it's a costume to her, it's something to mask who and what she truely is, a boy and vampire. I also related where the father lived to his life. He lives in an isolated location, you don't see many houses around where he is, he's pretty alone. Much like Eli, it's like Oskar's dad is trying to hide. When you see him pull out the drink, you see the instant change of the enviornment. It's uncomfortable and it's creepy and all these feelings arised in me. This movie made me so uneasy, I loved it. I can relate to this movie in ways I'd rather not share, it's a serious matter, and no, I'm not a vampire or a 200 year old kid, but this movie affected me.

Things to Throw at a City

So while thinking of songs for the playlists, I noticed that all the songs I picked are generally peaceful songs. I'm still working on songs that flow together, somewhat, and that they all generally share a common idea in their message. All the songs I chose also are songs that, to me, would be awesome to listen to whenever I'm in the city. I soon came up with the title of the play list as Things to Throw at a City. Upon coming up with songs to put on the playlist, I thought of Leonard Cohen. Leonard Cohen has been creeping around in my brain since I wrote him down for the playlist. All of his songs are amazing. Leonard is quite a legend, and you can throw on any of his songs and be put to a profound state of ease. I chose to use Chelsea Hotel No. 2. I first heard this song as a cover from a little folk-punk singer, Paul Baribeau. He played the song for a website called ifyoumakeit.com for their "pink couch sessions" where little bands in the folk-punk/lo-fi/folk genres play a song on a pink couch either acoustic or electric, mainly acoustic. Now these aren't songs that are well structured, in fact, these are quite the opposite. These songs are crappy songs played and sung by crappy musicians, but I still adore everything about it. Paul played the song very upbeat like all of his songs and with more emotion than I've ever seen come out of him. But I've been listening to Leonard Cohen a lot today and I've fallen more and more in love with each song.

Leonard Cohen wrote the popular Hallelujah(not to be confused with Paramore's song) that has been covered by numerous artists such as Regina Spektor and Rufus Wainwright. Leonard's lyrics are also only really felt when coming from his slow, deep, older, and wiser voice. He's a force to be reckoned with.

So here's the real point, I think I should try and set my goal to 10 bands on this playlist, but heres what I have so far, go take a listen and tell me what you think. Youtube your little hearts out.

1) Indiana -Watercolor Paintings
2) Skinny Love -Bon Iver (I may change the song to For Emma, Forever Ago try both songs and let me know which one you prefer)
3) Chelsea Hotel No. 2 -Leonard Cohen
4) No Cars Go -Arcade Fire
5) In the Aeroplane Over the Sea -Neutral Milk Hotel
6) Needle in the Hay -Elliot Smith
7) Cecilia -Simon and Garfunkel

Friday

So here I am on this lazy Friday, sitting around and making peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for myself alone. Since I'm alone and listening to the brother-sister duo, Watercolor Paintings, I've been thinking about my future, like what I'll be like, what I want to be like, where I want to be, and where I don't want to be. Often, I've thought that I've given this kind of thought the time of day, but only until now, I've given it my full attention and respect. It used to scare me to think about growing up and stuff, but now, I'm beginning to accept it and can't wait to be able to be on my own and paint, draw, play music, take pictures, write, and go walking at night.

I think I mainly don't want to ever be sad again. These are things that make me happy. I just think I have to do them all the time to have fun. But I don't.

And I've fallen victim to a cliche. I want to live in the city. SoHo. It fits the lifestyle I want and it seems perfect for me, at the moment. I constantly change and it's almost impossible for me to keep up with myself. I want to live in some crappy apartment with my girlfriend and walk around with her, take her to new places, and visit home (where ever that'll be) and be able to balance both of these worlds.

On top of all that, I thought I was done writing, but when I looked at the writing courses in college, I suddenly got excited about writing again. It's amazing. I've gone from writing poetry to writing these blogs and little stories. I really like my writing in these blogs, they border fiction and non-fiction in a way, and its another thing that puts a smile on my face. But that's how my brain is thinking right now, and I don't mind it, not one bit.

3 Over Due Blogs...IN ONE!

So last monday, in Steve's workshop, we read some scripts that people wrote and one of them was mine. I didn't leave my script until the last minute, in fact, I started working on it the friday before the workshop. I started writing it and to be honest, I wasn't really sure what I was writing about. Characters have no names, they're laying down, and then at a playground, and it's "witty" to quote someone from the workshop, Cassie or Leah, I believe. I was given some feedback regarding my script about changing the order of events and it would be good, so I'm doing that now. We also read Cassie's script and I noticed it was very, what I can only define as, Comedic-Action, or even, a Cassie script. Cassie writes these awesome things that when you hear them coming from her mouth you think, "What the hell are you talking about? People running and then kissing?" But when you read her stuff, it's astounding. It balances out with humor, action, and some sort of variation of love. It's these things that make you want to read more and more. We also read Matt's script. Matt takes after Cassie with writing, he's amazing. He too has a certain way of writing thats very real and you wouldn't know that it was a movie. Matt's style of writing is very different from anything I've ever read, and I love that.

On Friday in the workshop we finished up the scripts. We read Elisa's script, which I absolutley adore. She kept saying that it "sucked" and I, being a writer as well, completely understand why she felt that. I always think my work sucks and I'm nervous to show it to people. Writing is a very, very vulnerable thing to do. You put down your interpretations of life and things you've seen through out your life and you put it into a poem or a script or even an essay. It's great. Elisa's script was amazing and really dragged you into what was going on. I don't want to say anything thats in the script because I'm not the writer, nor do I want to spoil it for anyone. After Elisa's, we read Molly's script. It's Molly so it's awesome and funny and really profound. Molly's writing is beyond her years. Her script had to do with religion, so I was sucked in right away. I'm extremely interested in different religions and how they all intertwine with one another, even the ones that oppose one another, sorry if I offended anyone by saying that, but I'm legitimately interested as the son of a religion teacher. But I back to Steve. Steve ALWAYS has something to say about what we write and its reassuring and it's helping me develop as a writer.

What I did last week:

Last week I was working on The Dinning Room. AWESOME PLAY. First play that I enjoyed working on ever. I also started playing bass alone and really analyzing how I play and what I play. It's very interesting to me to finally hear myself. I've been going back and forth with using a pick and my fingers. I don't like using picks at all as a bassist, but sometimes, you need to, like when I play with Jack, I need a pick and I need my 5-string. I think wed there should be a Thanksgiving Jam, anyone interested? Provided we aren't watching something, I think this would be good for the new STACies who play instruments to get to better know the veteran musicians and vice versa.

"Lets boogie, but first I have to clean my room" -Aristotle

Pictures

The (concept) Tober guitar #0909
The next bass (a concept) Tober #0910 Alder core with wenge stripes (the black) and a cherry wood in the middle
My dog, dead asleep on my bed with a hurt paw.
Close up of the grain pattern
The bass I'm currently building. Tober #0907 Alder Body
The Back
A "worn out" part
Close up of the body
Full shot of the Telephone

The first painting I made outside of STAC and on a canvas. "The City and the Dancer".

Things I've been doing...

I've been doing quite a bit, actually. I started doing some painting this year, I only have 2 and only 1 that I'm proud of, which reminds me, I need another canvas. I've been, for lack of a better term, doodling around on my acoustic a bit more than usual, which is kinda weird for me, I'm not much of a guitarist. And speaking of guitars, I've been messing with them! As (almost) all of you know, I took the finish and lacquer off my 5-string bass by sanding it down to bare wood and sent it over to Lee-Lee who sketched a design on it and I carved it, threw some Oak stain on the wood, set it back up, and called it a job. After not working on an instrument for a while, I got antsy and bored, so I grabbed my  squire tele, my old epiphone junior model neck and threw it on the tele, it looks pretty good actually, thus the Telephone was born. Then I kinda just made it look old and vintage by lightly sanding over the finish to make it look dull and sanded in some marks to make it look vintage and old. 

Now, I'm being taught, by a STAC alumni, how to build an instrument. I'm building a bass under the guidance of Patrick Goodsell. It's annoying at the moment because I have to band saw out the body from the wood, and finding a band saw is quite difficult. I think I'll be using the school's at tech club and hopefully plane to wood at my friend's house. Once that is done, I can begin sanding the body and establish the sides and rounded scroll. I'll throw up pictures of the process on here and with the other stuff I've been doing lately. 

All the best,

Nick

Veteran's day

Yesterday after school, I had a weird experience after another. I found myself at the dodge ball tournament watching my friends play, only to loose in the first round. I don't know why I went really. My friend asked me to sit with him and watch it, and for some reason I said yes, instead of going home and relaxing until they finished their game. After that, I sat in my friend's basement for 20 minutes watching him play that new stupid Call Of Duty game. I like the game, but I don't like video games as much as my friend's do. I hated how the day was going so far. A bunch of other stuff happened that I wasn't crazy about too, we were really just bored and I chose to leave and be bored at home, where I can be lazy for free.

Mainly I'm curious. Am I out-growing my friends? Do I constantly have to have things my way? Should I be the one to take control over what I do with my friends? It's annoying. I find myself having more fun when I'm sitting at my girlfriend's house watching tv or something than with my friends with whom I've been close with for about 5 to 6 years now, one as far back as elementary school. But I try to avoid seeing my girlfriend too much, I don't want to be that guy in the group who can't hang out because he made plans with his girlfriend to sit and be lame with for my senior year, though I can't say I'd mind.

It's almost a denial of death type thing, in fact, it is. I want to make sure that my senior year isn't lame at all. I don't ever want to be bored again and I want to do something that is remembered by my peers and others.

And my anxiety is striking me at weird points during the day, mainly at night before I go to bed. I have a closet in my room that's full of clothes and stuff from when I was a kid, and when the door to the closet is open, I look in and get this very weird feeling. Even thinking about it right now is stressing me out. I want that closet out of my house and I wanna never hear from it again.

"I should've known that this would happen from the start
This kind of function's gonna have to fall apart
I guess before I would've sworn that we were friends
Maybe this problem points towards some larger trend"

Artist: We Are Scientists Song: It's A Hit

What has STAC done for me?

I wish I could just say a lot and be done. This is a question that requires a vulnerable answer. It's only the beginning of the second year, and it's almost like it never ended. Artistically, I've grown and changed. I went from writing and playing some music to painting, drawing, writing, playing music seriously, and acting. All this from one class. I'm even on my way to becoming a luthier, which is something I didn't even know existed until a year ago. There's a lot of people to blame for all of this.
The beginning of last year, I was pretty different. I came into the program just writing and knowing a few people, but that changed by October-ish, when everyone was finally comfortable with each other. I knew everyone and could tell you why I loved each person and what they did, it was amazing. Everyone had their thing and when we were together and tried to work as a unit it was something different. It was either amazing or ok. This year, our group has done quite a bit together and it's only been amazing so far. Newbies are finding who they work best with now and I remember when I was in the search of finding someone to work with too. I eventually found that person who turned out to be Jack Morrow.
Jack Morrow, like me, has gone through a big change as a person during his time in STAC, go look at a picture of him from this year and try and find one of him our sophmore year. Different, I know. Jack is a great person. We clicked when we met. People in STAC know us for our inseperable-ness. Jack has a depth to him, it can only be summaraized as, Jack literally plays with people's minds and they don't even realize it, it's great. But enough about him.
I began a friendship with Luke last year and he has become one of my closest friends and my mentour. Last year I experienced two deaths in my family around the same time and I was in a very weird state. I turned to Luke for some sort of guidance and as an understanding friend to vent to. My godmother's mom, Annie, passed away and my Uncle Mike passed as well. Annie was diagnosed with cancer and given only a few months to live, which was really hard. It was like having a little clock over her at all times and it hurt really bad. My uncle had a stroke the beginning of the year and didn't get enough time to recover and he passed. He had a big impact on my life and I wrote to Luke in my blog last year about him and how I was confused and hurt and how all these feelings were in me and I had no way of knowing how to deal with them. Luke is a big person in my life, he's a father figure to me and is always willing to help me and even happier to just talk about random stuff with me and I thank him for all he's done for me. He's helped me grow up and mature, he's a great man that you should all feel comfortable going to.
STAC has gone above and beyond for me. There's something about being in an art room for 3 periods, 5 days a week, with the same people and sharing your experiences with them. STAC forces you to give up your personal space that you would usually have when working, and confronts you, making you work at a table with other artsists, giving them an insight as to what you're doing and how you make something. I admit, I like to leave the table I'm working at sometimes and go to a table by Mr. Ganes' desk where no one usually goes to. The option of being able to get up and walk to another table is empowering and helps me get my work done more.
So, what has STAC done for me? STAC has shown me that I can, but don't have to do things on my own. That was something that I've needed to happen to me for a long time, but I was never given the option until I joined STAC. STAC will always be my second family and when I'm gone away at college, don't any of you think you've heard the last from me, I'll always be a phone call away, waiting to help any of you. That is what STAC has done for me.

Understanding Hugo: The process

Friday we shot and shared films we made and I was stunned by everyone's, astounding work, everyone. I loved, loved, loved Jaques' Quest. Simply hysterical, I underestimated the newbies completely. It was like you guys knew what you were doing, way before even working with anyone veteran STACies on film making, kudos.

Understanding Hugo was a film that was based solely on costumes. If we were in our normal everyday clothes, it would have been horrible. We also had to make an adjustment due to our time frame, so we cut a scene I believe. We would practice the scene before filming it and then we'd shoot it. I would get a bit impatient sometimes and try to rush the others in my group, but even though we finished our movie last, I felt comfortable with the time we were given.

I liked shooting the film in order from first to last, it made things flow more, I knew what to expect and how to handle it. Running off an idea that was said about taking the film we made and make it serious, I'm not crazy about it. Understanding Hugo is a great humorous film, but in a serious context, I'd want nothing to do with it.

For the future: I think we should keep this process. Especially for the serious film, but maybe start working the second we get in and not wait. Bring in our stuff the day before, and get straight to work.

Once again, great job everyone, ya'll done good.

"Disposable Dixie-cup drinking
I assassin down the avenue
I'm hiding out in the big city blinking
What was I thinking when I let go of you?

loves you
I'm the man who loves you"

Song: I Am Trying To Break Your Heart
Artist: Wilco

Magazine

I apologize for my post being so late. I've been giving it some thought as to what I could add to this awesome magazine, and I figured it out. I was thinking since the theme is winter obviously, there should be "the perfect playlist" to listen to while your out with friends, or spending a cold winter's day home in bed. I made a bunch of these last year while I was working on the middle school musical. I'd walk home after each rehearsal in the cold and made sure I had a different playlist each week that would make me feel good and make me want to walk home in the cold.

Along with this, we should really give www.ffffound.com a spot somewhere on here. I'm thinking the top 20 coolest pictures from ffffound. You can't just find 10, there's so many more.

Examples from ffffound:

http://ffffound.com/image/3932a3fb514b030dd3c75af71b76c6f32655bb21

http://ffffound.com/image/f14ccc2777c898aebf2a68c1da4c0c2bc88f1b18

http://ffffound.com/image/8225f3e847057123f5455a53a30db7621d3d62d2

again, just some examples. Thoughts?

The Bauhaus...

The Bauhaus was created in Weimar in 1919. It was created by the German Architect, Walter Gropius. The Bauhaus combined architecture, painting, and sculpting into one. Combining the fine arts and education in the arts, The Bauhaus was the perfect combination of learning and creativity. Some teachers were, Paul Klee, Wassily Kandinsky, and Josef Albers. Special workshops were set up for students learning about the Bauhaus theory such as, metalworking, cabinet making, weaving, pottery, typography, and wall painting.

The school moved from Weimar to Dessau, where a new building was designed that housed many features that would be a part of modern arcitecture such as, "steel-frame construction, a glass curtain wall, and an asymmetrical, pinwheel plan, throughout which Gropius distributed studio, classroom, and administrative space for maximum efficiency and spatial logic." -Alexandra Griffith Winton.

(more to be added)

Comm Center

Friday, when we went to the community center and partnered up and did the blindfold exercise (running across the stage) it was weird. At first, of course, I was nervous and I didn't trust anyone holding my arm and hand running me across the stage, but after a while I realized that I each time I ran across the stage, I hadn't hit into anyone once, or fall down, so I started to pick up the pace. I also became more comfortable with the people running me across the stage the first round because it was the older STACies, with whom I have a history with and solid relationship with. And even after them, I trusted who ever guided me across the stage, because I trust all of your intentions, sink or swim.

Then, Michelle and I partnered up, and I started off the exercise by giving her the tour first. I thought it was funny at first, but after a while, there were less and less things for her to touch around the building, and it became a matter of me trying to make the most of it...I put Michelle's hand in dirty water. She wiped the water on me, quite a back fire.

When Michelle took me around, she made it more fun then I did. She brought me outside to a playground where kids couldn't have been too far, and talked me through going down a slide. I had no idea what I was going to do on the playground at first until I finally started going down the slide, probably the coolest thing to happen that day. After that day I feel that Michelle and I developed a weird trust between one another and I'm glad it happened.

Thanks for getting me down a slide blindfolded.

"With all your lies,
You're still very lovable." -Bon Iver

Poem 9/21/09

I could never leave you,
not in the orchard.
Where crows sing,
and winds pick up.
Where I can leave my body,
to lie with leaves,
ignoring clouds.

When Autumn pulls at layers,
and layers pull to the ground,
and your shoes are off,
and skin is in the air,
only to be caught,
seemingly.

To run.
To run across a limit,
and not even sigh.

Only to wind up in the orchard.
Where I'd never leave you,
but I'm sure you'd understand if I did.

Had I done so,
there could be no forgiveness for my actions.

Envious of your limitless ground,
as I retire to another ground,
only a yard long,
empty driveway.

Rilke Poem

I decided to take Rainer Maria Rilke's poem, To Say Before Going To Sleep, and take lines that I liked and shorten them and re-arrange them and make my own poem out of the poem. I was having difficulty coming up with my own version of the poem, I'm currently in a block, it sucks. Well, enough babble, here's my Rilke.

Clocks are striking,
the house.
Strange dog, wakened.
Eyes hold you gently,
sleep,
or wake.

The night outside was cold,
beyond that,
I sing someone to sleep,
companion,
and listen to you,
outside the world.

I loved this poem because it expresses one of the most intimate things in this life, falling asleep with another person. There is nothing in this world that is more intimate than sleeping (not sex) actually falling asleep in the same bed with someone you love. There's something to be said about retiring to a bed with the one you love, and there's nothing to say, there's nothing that can be said properly. And the more I think about it, the more it makes me want to write. My next post will be a poem, right on the spot too. Those are the best poems.

Upcoming Seasons...

I can't wait for the upcoming seasons, they influence my work heavily. They're so important to me that thinking about them makes me sad knowing they'll be gone eventually, but again, only to come again. Weird, I know. Nature is another big role in my work, I'm heavily influenced by Fall and Winter. Summer, for me, is my time to hibernate from art, and when Fall and Winter come around, I'm ready and I do my best to re-invent myself, mainly just maturing in my work.
I don't know where it all started, maybe last year, in English. I'm an English nerd, I openly admit it. But my class last year was just so great. I had a relaxed environment, great teacher, great music, and I was finding myself, (for the first time), it was great.
My class had a giant window letting you see into the other courtyard that no one uses except my teacher's class and the out door ed classes. You could see everything. Like the world was just strewn out in this great place, and instead of only seeing it, you could be in it. We watched a nest over a course of some time, maybe a month, and when we found the hatched eggs, it was something special. We even had a bird come in our class, and through many failed attempts, we finally got it out and just laughed.

I miss that class.

I've got so much on my mind. I keep thinking about the city and how I can make it fun for the newbies that hang with me for the day, but nothing crazy is popping into my head yet, sorry.

New Jersey is the worst place in the world.
New Jersey is the worst place in the world.
New Jersey sucks.
Go back to Seattle and rest.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N4h7MqeZRU8 This is one of my favorite songs, and this video made by film students (I assume) is just right for this song. If you listen to it, send me your favorite line in a comment, this song is too perfect, you're guaranteed to love it.

"I'll be the phonograph that plays your favorite
Albums back as you're lying there drifting off to sleep..." -Brand New Colony by The Postal Service

Jesse, Pot Pie.

1 pound of Jesse's thighs (preferably cubed)

1 can of gravy for basing

Vegetables (your choice of vegetables) about half a pound, mix in with thighs

Noodles (Campbell's chicken noodles noodle) 

Place cover of pie crust on top of the ingredients 

Bake for 20 to 30 minutes 

Cook until brown

yum, yum Jesse, yum, yum.

Pictures of you.

My computer won't let me upload the pictures of all of you, I apologize. If it's possible, I'd see if I could do it in front of the class, if not, I understand, too much work, too little time.

Yesterday in STAC, when we were painting, I was impressed by the newbies and their work. Water color painting seems elementary at first and extremely frustrating (your first 10 creations will not be what you want them to be, trust me) you develop your own technique and you start making great stuff. When I start painting it's either really fast and I'm on a roll, or I get too frustrated and do my best to shut off my mind and eventually get to work.

Relax.

I've decided that I want to venture into the world of painting this year, I'm bored with just writing and music. This is STAC. Remember, you can do WHAT EVER discipline you want to in STAC, your not stuck with the one you chose.

I have a muse.

So with that being said: eat, sleep, http://ffffound.com/

"I've been rapping for about seveteen years okay?
I don't write my stuff anymore I just kick it from my head
You know what I'm sayin?
I can do that
No disrespect, but that's how I am" -Seventeen by Ratatat

Things:

Some things you ALL should see/know.

First off, a bassist who inspired me to start playing bass was in a car accident last November and has been in and out of a coma for a while. His name is Chi Cheng, and is one of many influences in my life, thus I've been playing more music than I ever have. (it's random, but you should know)

My favorite poem in the whole world, written by my favorite Poet in the whole world.

http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/a-supermarket-in-california/

Allen Ginsberg is the foundation to my work, you take away Allen from me would be like taking away all my bones. And while you're on the site, look me up on the search, some of my old poems are up, perhaps I'll add more here.

"And Z100's on, and Z100's on, and Z100's on" -Miley Cyrus