Friday

So here I am on this lazy Friday, sitting around and making peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for myself alone. Since I'm alone and listening to the brother-sister duo, Watercolor Paintings, I've been thinking about my future, like what I'll be like, what I want to be like, where I want to be, and where I don't want to be. Often, I've thought that I've given this kind of thought the time of day, but only until now, I've given it my full attention and respect. It used to scare me to think about growing up and stuff, but now, I'm beginning to accept it and can't wait to be able to be on my own and paint, draw, play music, take pictures, write, and go walking at night.

I think I mainly don't want to ever be sad again. These are things that make me happy. I just think I have to do them all the time to have fun. But I don't.

And I've fallen victim to a cliche. I want to live in the city. SoHo. It fits the lifestyle I want and it seems perfect for me, at the moment. I constantly change and it's almost impossible for me to keep up with myself. I want to live in some crappy apartment with my girlfriend and walk around with her, take her to new places, and visit home (where ever that'll be) and be able to balance both of these worlds.

On top of all that, I thought I was done writing, but when I looked at the writing courses in college, I suddenly got excited about writing again. It's amazing. I've gone from writing poetry to writing these blogs and little stories. I really like my writing in these blogs, they border fiction and non-fiction in a way, and its another thing that puts a smile on my face. But that's how my brain is thinking right now, and I don't mind it, not one bit.

3 Over Due Blogs...IN ONE!

So last monday, in Steve's workshop, we read some scripts that people wrote and one of them was mine. I didn't leave my script until the last minute, in fact, I started working on it the friday before the workshop. I started writing it and to be honest, I wasn't really sure what I was writing about. Characters have no names, they're laying down, and then at a playground, and it's "witty" to quote someone from the workshop, Cassie or Leah, I believe. I was given some feedback regarding my script about changing the order of events and it would be good, so I'm doing that now. We also read Cassie's script and I noticed it was very, what I can only define as, Comedic-Action, or even, a Cassie script. Cassie writes these awesome things that when you hear them coming from her mouth you think, "What the hell are you talking about? People running and then kissing?" But when you read her stuff, it's astounding. It balances out with humor, action, and some sort of variation of love. It's these things that make you want to read more and more. We also read Matt's script. Matt takes after Cassie with writing, he's amazing. He too has a certain way of writing thats very real and you wouldn't know that it was a movie. Matt's style of writing is very different from anything I've ever read, and I love that.

On Friday in the workshop we finished up the scripts. We read Elisa's script, which I absolutley adore. She kept saying that it "sucked" and I, being a writer as well, completely understand why she felt that. I always think my work sucks and I'm nervous to show it to people. Writing is a very, very vulnerable thing to do. You put down your interpretations of life and things you've seen through out your life and you put it into a poem or a script or even an essay. It's great. Elisa's script was amazing and really dragged you into what was going on. I don't want to say anything thats in the script because I'm not the writer, nor do I want to spoil it for anyone. After Elisa's, we read Molly's script. It's Molly so it's awesome and funny and really profound. Molly's writing is beyond her years. Her script had to do with religion, so I was sucked in right away. I'm extremely interested in different religions and how they all intertwine with one another, even the ones that oppose one another, sorry if I offended anyone by saying that, but I'm legitimately interested as the son of a religion teacher. But I back to Steve. Steve ALWAYS has something to say about what we write and its reassuring and it's helping me develop as a writer.

What I did last week:

Last week I was working on The Dinning Room. AWESOME PLAY. First play that I enjoyed working on ever. I also started playing bass alone and really analyzing how I play and what I play. It's very interesting to me to finally hear myself. I've been going back and forth with using a pick and my fingers. I don't like using picks at all as a bassist, but sometimes, you need to, like when I play with Jack, I need a pick and I need my 5-string. I think wed there should be a Thanksgiving Jam, anyone interested? Provided we aren't watching something, I think this would be good for the new STACies who play instruments to get to better know the veteran musicians and vice versa.

"Lets boogie, but first I have to clean my room" -Aristotle

Pictures

The (concept) Tober guitar #0909
The next bass (a concept) Tober #0910 Alder core with wenge stripes (the black) and a cherry wood in the middle
My dog, dead asleep on my bed with a hurt paw.
Close up of the grain pattern
The bass I'm currently building. Tober #0907 Alder Body
The Back
A "worn out" part
Close up of the body
Full shot of the Telephone

The first painting I made outside of STAC and on a canvas. "The City and the Dancer".

Things I've been doing...

I've been doing quite a bit, actually. I started doing some painting this year, I only have 2 and only 1 that I'm proud of, which reminds me, I need another canvas. I've been, for lack of a better term, doodling around on my acoustic a bit more than usual, which is kinda weird for me, I'm not much of a guitarist. And speaking of guitars, I've been messing with them! As (almost) all of you know, I took the finish and lacquer off my 5-string bass by sanding it down to bare wood and sent it over to Lee-Lee who sketched a design on it and I carved it, threw some Oak stain on the wood, set it back up, and called it a job. After not working on an instrument for a while, I got antsy and bored, so I grabbed my  squire tele, my old epiphone junior model neck and threw it on the tele, it looks pretty good actually, thus the Telephone was born. Then I kinda just made it look old and vintage by lightly sanding over the finish to make it look dull and sanded in some marks to make it look vintage and old. 

Now, I'm being taught, by a STAC alumni, how to build an instrument. I'm building a bass under the guidance of Patrick Goodsell. It's annoying at the moment because I have to band saw out the body from the wood, and finding a band saw is quite difficult. I think I'll be using the school's at tech club and hopefully plane to wood at my friend's house. Once that is done, I can begin sanding the body and establish the sides and rounded scroll. I'll throw up pictures of the process on here and with the other stuff I've been doing lately. 

All the best,

Nick

Veteran's day

Yesterday after school, I had a weird experience after another. I found myself at the dodge ball tournament watching my friends play, only to loose in the first round. I don't know why I went really. My friend asked me to sit with him and watch it, and for some reason I said yes, instead of going home and relaxing until they finished their game. After that, I sat in my friend's basement for 20 minutes watching him play that new stupid Call Of Duty game. I like the game, but I don't like video games as much as my friend's do. I hated how the day was going so far. A bunch of other stuff happened that I wasn't crazy about too, we were really just bored and I chose to leave and be bored at home, where I can be lazy for free.

Mainly I'm curious. Am I out-growing my friends? Do I constantly have to have things my way? Should I be the one to take control over what I do with my friends? It's annoying. I find myself having more fun when I'm sitting at my girlfriend's house watching tv or something than with my friends with whom I've been close with for about 5 to 6 years now, one as far back as elementary school. But I try to avoid seeing my girlfriend too much, I don't want to be that guy in the group who can't hang out because he made plans with his girlfriend to sit and be lame with for my senior year, though I can't say I'd mind.

It's almost a denial of death type thing, in fact, it is. I want to make sure that my senior year isn't lame at all. I don't ever want to be bored again and I want to do something that is remembered by my peers and others.

And my anxiety is striking me at weird points during the day, mainly at night before I go to bed. I have a closet in my room that's full of clothes and stuff from when I was a kid, and when the door to the closet is open, I look in and get this very weird feeling. Even thinking about it right now is stressing me out. I want that closet out of my house and I wanna never hear from it again.

"I should've known that this would happen from the start
This kind of function's gonna have to fall apart
I guess before I would've sworn that we were friends
Maybe this problem points towards some larger trend"

Artist: We Are Scientists Song: It's A Hit

What has STAC done for me?

I wish I could just say a lot and be done. This is a question that requires a vulnerable answer. It's only the beginning of the second year, and it's almost like it never ended. Artistically, I've grown and changed. I went from writing and playing some music to painting, drawing, writing, playing music seriously, and acting. All this from one class. I'm even on my way to becoming a luthier, which is something I didn't even know existed until a year ago. There's a lot of people to blame for all of this.
The beginning of last year, I was pretty different. I came into the program just writing and knowing a few people, but that changed by October-ish, when everyone was finally comfortable with each other. I knew everyone and could tell you why I loved each person and what they did, it was amazing. Everyone had their thing and when we were together and tried to work as a unit it was something different. It was either amazing or ok. This year, our group has done quite a bit together and it's only been amazing so far. Newbies are finding who they work best with now and I remember when I was in the search of finding someone to work with too. I eventually found that person who turned out to be Jack Morrow.
Jack Morrow, like me, has gone through a big change as a person during his time in STAC, go look at a picture of him from this year and try and find one of him our sophmore year. Different, I know. Jack is a great person. We clicked when we met. People in STAC know us for our inseperable-ness. Jack has a depth to him, it can only be summaraized as, Jack literally plays with people's minds and they don't even realize it, it's great. But enough about him.
I began a friendship with Luke last year and he has become one of my closest friends and my mentour. Last year I experienced two deaths in my family around the same time and I was in a very weird state. I turned to Luke for some sort of guidance and as an understanding friend to vent to. My godmother's mom, Annie, passed away and my Uncle Mike passed as well. Annie was diagnosed with cancer and given only a few months to live, which was really hard. It was like having a little clock over her at all times and it hurt really bad. My uncle had a stroke the beginning of the year and didn't get enough time to recover and he passed. He had a big impact on my life and I wrote to Luke in my blog last year about him and how I was confused and hurt and how all these feelings were in me and I had no way of knowing how to deal with them. Luke is a big person in my life, he's a father figure to me and is always willing to help me and even happier to just talk about random stuff with me and I thank him for all he's done for me. He's helped me grow up and mature, he's a great man that you should all feel comfortable going to.
STAC has gone above and beyond for me. There's something about being in an art room for 3 periods, 5 days a week, with the same people and sharing your experiences with them. STAC forces you to give up your personal space that you would usually have when working, and confronts you, making you work at a table with other artsists, giving them an insight as to what you're doing and how you make something. I admit, I like to leave the table I'm working at sometimes and go to a table by Mr. Ganes' desk where no one usually goes to. The option of being able to get up and walk to another table is empowering and helps me get my work done more.
So, what has STAC done for me? STAC has shown me that I can, but don't have to do things on my own. That was something that I've needed to happen to me for a long time, but I was never given the option until I joined STAC. STAC will always be my second family and when I'm gone away at college, don't any of you think you've heard the last from me, I'll always be a phone call away, waiting to help any of you. That is what STAC has done for me.