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Yesterday after school, I had a weird experience after another. I found myself at the dodge ball tournament watching my friends play, only to loose in the first round. I don't know why I went really. My friend asked me to sit with him and watch it, and for some reason I said yes, instead of going home and relaxing until they finished their game. After that, I sat in my friend's basement for 20 minutes watching him play that new stupid Call Of Duty game. I like the game, but I don't like video games as much as my friend's do. I hated how the day was going so far. A bunch of other stuff happened that I wasn't crazy about too, we were really just bored and I chose to leave and be bored at home, where I can be lazy for free.
Mainly I'm curious. Am I out-growing my friends? Do I constantly have to have things my way? Should I be the one to take control over what I do with my friends? It's annoying. I find myself having more fun when I'm sitting at my girlfriend's house watching tv or something than with my friends with whom I've been close with for about 5 to 6 years now, one as far back as elementary school. But I try to avoid seeing my girlfriend too much, I don't want to be that guy in the group who can't hang out because he made plans with his girlfriend to sit and be lame with for my senior year, though I can't say I'd mind.
It's almost a denial of death type thing, in fact, it is. I want to make sure that my senior year isn't lame at all. I don't ever want to be bored again and I want to do something that is remembered by my peers and others.
And my anxiety is striking me at weird points during the day, mainly at night before I go to bed. I have a closet in my room that's full of clothes and stuff from when I was a kid, and when the door to the closet is open, I look in and get this very weird feeling. Even thinking about it right now is stressing me out. I want that closet out of my house and I wanna never hear from it again.
"I should've known that this would happen from the start
This kind of function's gonna have to fall apart
I guess before I would've sworn that we were friends
Maybe this problem points towards some larger trend"
Artist: We Are Scientists Song: It's A Hit
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What I've learned is that if you don't want to be bored with friends, you can't wait around for someone to change that. You need to take charge and suggest to do something fun. And if your friends question why your doing this, just tell them the truth and they will realize your right.
ReplyDeleteDid I just write on your blog?? I am as surprised as you are.
If you have more fun with her than you do with your friends, why is hanging out with your girlfriend lame?
ReplyDeleteI know what you're talking about. Senior year and thinking about everyone leaving is driving me insane.
P.S. I'm not hearing the end of the Call of Duty game either. I'm so glad my boyfriend hates it.
Call of Duty... seemingly cool game played by people who tend to let life pass by.
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