Promises I made...

So what have I done since the do over? It came to me yesterday, in a question. I was asked a really cliche question, "what is your biggest regret in life?" I never really thought about it. I was going to try and think of something funny to say, but then I really had to think about it. What do I regret? I'm sure there's quite a lot, but at the same time, I'm a STRONG believer in that "whole everything happens for a reason", thus, I can't be holding regrets if they were meant to be. But what about the stuff that isn't happening? It hit me. I realized that my biggest regret is my insecurities. Am I doing what I really want to? I'm satisfying my id? I feel selfish asking that, but am I? Being 17 should be enough, right? I mean I fit the average 17 year old standards, I have a bunch of guitars, I hang out with my friends, I have a girlfriend, I have "my own" style, etc. But I guess that's not what I want out of my life. I don't know what it is that will end this feeling I have, but I hope it comes along eventually in my life. I want to start filming things more. I think I want to film me and my friends. I thought of it yesterday. We wind up in these weird places and we have these rituals that need to be documented. Not because I don't want to forget my friends, but because where ever we wind up, it makes me think how good it'd be to get these places on film.

I want to find what makes me satisfied. Although, that's impossible, if I was satisfied, I wouldn't have to create anymore, and not being creative is out of the question. I want to find comfort in what I do again. I want to make sure I'm doing the right thing, and not what someone else is doing.