Recently...

Recently, I started a band with a few friends. It's probably the most fun I've had in a band in a long time. I haven't taken it too seriously and I'm playing drums again for the first time in a while for a band. I'm actually having fun. Music is fun again. But anyways, we decided that we'd lose the first song we wrote and write a better one in it's place. I wrote lyrics for it and again, another first in a long time. I haven't written seriously on my own in what feels like a year. I claimed to have a bad case of writer's block, but I think I was just scared to try it again. But as I was writing, I wasn't getting angry, I wasn't throwing out page after page. I just wrote. It all seemed to make sense to me. I thought I'd share the lyrics with you guys. It's not one of my best works, but, regardless, it's mine.

I know this place,
too many familiar back streets;
you and your intentions
pressed to streets.

Lets keep this between you and I,
once more, please.

Pick it up
pick it up
and kindly take your leave
kindly, you've been fine
I know you mean well.

Pick it up
pick it up
and kindly take my place,
you're doing just fine
I wish I meant well.


So those are the lyrics. Bit short, but I never wrote lyrics that were long anyways.

Why do I do?

Why do I do what I do? I wish it was simple, but there's nothing in art that's simple. Each thing I do is very similar. I write, I play music, I act, and I draw when I can. I started writing because I had to, not because I wanted to. I needed to get the phrases I'd get in my head out and the only way it'd work was with paper and a pen. I'd write my poems on anything I could find to relieve my head from the attacking stanzas. After a little while of writing, I began to play music. Music had always made me move. I don't mean dance, I'd keep tempo with my hands and feet and I'd be moving my head back and forth with the song playing. Hell, I'm even doing it now listening to a song. I got my first guitar in the 4th grade. A Fender Strat that was my dad's friend's and he didn't use it anymore. I got rid of it, but if I still had it, it'd be known as the catalyst for my interest in music in every aspect. I act because it's what I've been doing my whole life and I never realized. I was constantly doing odd things as a kid that I knew would either make people laugh or get annoyed. I can't stop acting...it's pretty much who I am, not who I'm not. All these things take quite a toll on me mentally and physically and drawing is how I relax from it all. But I suppose all the pain and fatigue that I get through my art is something I don't mind. I'd rather die doing something I'm disgustingly proud of and have scars and bruises to show for it then working at some office confined to a cubicle. My life is sacrificing my body and mind for my art. My art is product and subject to change of me. I am my art.

365...

I'll be showing you the evolution of my bass that I'm building. Before I can show you it, you should see my other basses and where the inspiration for the body came from. I've combined elements from my 4 basses to create the bass I'm building.



The red bass is my newest bass, and most prized bass. A red Spector bass with one passive EMG humbucker. This bass gives me the capability to play a nice warm song and, if I so desire, a bright funk slap and pop groove all with the turn of a knob. This bass pretty much says I can do anything you can throw at me, which ties to my optimistic outlook on things.

The middle, an epiphone knock off precision bass. I didn't really ever care for it to be honest. I just wanted another bass that I could throw flat wound strings on. These past couple of days, this has been my go-to bass when it comes to practicing. I'm trying to see what kind of tone as a bassist I prefer, and I'm leaning more towards to low warm tones of this bass. I suppose I can only define this bass as the beginning of a summer night, before it gets too dark and its still cool out.

The final bass in this picture is my second oldest bass in my possession. A 4 string Ibanez Gio with GHS Boomers on. If your a musician, you'd know that this bass is the brightest sounding of all my instruments. The GHS strings are really in your face and give off a slap sound even with a pluck of a pick or the pluck of my index finger. I only use this bass for fast music to capture the meaning of the given song. This bass has an attitude of it's own and is completely underestimated by me every time I play it.



This bass is my Squire 5-string and has undergone surgery. This bass is the reason I got into building. I did this bass whilst going through my folk phase. This bass has changed, but is still the bass I bought regardless of the look. This bass is sweat in the grain and I've got the arms to prove it. This bass taught me to take my time with things, and to wait for the end, it's always the best part.

It's with great pride that I unveil to you the bass I've been building. The picture doesn't capture the flaws as much as I'd like it to. Despite the way it looks now somewhat, it still has a ways to go before it's even CLOSE to being done.



Tober Bass #0709 From now until it's completion, I'll be putting up pictures everyday after I work on this bass. Enjoy the show.

Promises I made...

So what have I done since the do over? It came to me yesterday, in a question. I was asked a really cliche question, "what is your biggest regret in life?" I never really thought about it. I was going to try and think of something funny to say, but then I really had to think about it. What do I regret? I'm sure there's quite a lot, but at the same time, I'm a STRONG believer in that "whole everything happens for a reason", thus, I can't be holding regrets if they were meant to be. But what about the stuff that isn't happening? It hit me. I realized that my biggest regret is my insecurities. Am I doing what I really want to? I'm satisfying my id? I feel selfish asking that, but am I? Being 17 should be enough, right? I mean I fit the average 17 year old standards, I have a bunch of guitars, I hang out with my friends, I have a girlfriend, I have "my own" style, etc. But I guess that's not what I want out of my life. I don't know what it is that will end this feeling I have, but I hope it comes along eventually in my life. I want to start filming things more. I think I want to film me and my friends. I thought of it yesterday. We wind up in these weird places and we have these rituals that need to be documented. Not because I don't want to forget my friends, but because where ever we wind up, it makes me think how good it'd be to get these places on film.

I want to find what makes me satisfied. Although, that's impossible, if I was satisfied, I wouldn't have to create anymore, and not being creative is out of the question. I want to find comfort in what I do again. I want to make sure I'm doing the right thing, and not what someone else is doing.

Empty Stomach...

I just did my ennegram test now in the STAC room on the worst empty stomach that I've ever had and what my results were not a 7. I was told "your are most likely a type 2. Taking wings into account, you seem to be a 2w1." When I clicked the type 2 link, I was ashamed of what the title said. Helpers who need to be needed." I'm not arguing at all that it's incorrect, because it's too correct, but I just never wanted to face the fact that I give more than I get. It's something I've been dealing with for quite a while now, and I wish no one knew about it. It makes me feel weak. It makes me feel like I need attention and pity, which is actually the last thing I want/need. In the very least bit, I'd like the people I give my time to, in any form, to recognize it. They don't have to appreciate it or hate it, just now that I did that for them. I feel I do put too much into relationships with others, but I don't mind it at all. I love helping people. I love making people feel good about themselves. I figure life is about problems and defeating them, and I like helping people defeat things. It's not easy doing some things alone, and I know I hate doing certain things alone, but somethings need to be handled strictly by myself. I'm a helper. I'd like my due recognition just like everyone else. I want others to know I've helped, and I can help again.

http://www.eclecticenergies.com/enneagram/type2.php

"I will be alright..
I will be, just fine."
Song: Duermete
Artist: As Tall As Lions

Pardon?

Here's another song I found today that I've been quite in love with. It's disgustingly astounding.

This is the story of our first teacher
Shetland made her jumpers
And the devil made her features
Threw up her hands when my mum said our names
Embroidered all her stories with slanderous claims
It's over and done with...

This is the story of losing my virginity
I held my breath and the bed held a trinity
People I'm making no claims to no mystery
But sometimes it feel like
My sex life's all history
It's over and done with...

I'm not saying these events didn't
Touch our lives in any way
But, ah, they didn't make the impression
That some people say

This is the story of watching a man dying
The subject's unpopular
But I don't feel like lying
When I think of it now I acted like a sinner
I just washed my hands
Then I went for my dinner

Yeah
It's over and done with...

Song: It's Over and Done With
Artist: The Proclaimers

Here's a link to the song. If you see my with ipod tomorrow on the way to the city at any point, trust that I'll have this song playing.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2NBegquhJRM

Can you?

I figured everyone can take something away with these lyrics after the whole values, issues, and koan we did in class. This will probably relate to anything you wrote or feel...

I've been out walking
I don't do too much talking these days
These days
These days I seem to think a lot
About the things that I forgot to do

And all the times I had
The chance to

I stopped my rambling
I don't do too much gambling these days
These days
These days I seem to think about
How all the changes came about my way

And i wonder if I'd see another
Highway

I had a lover
I don't think I'll risk another these days
These days
And if I seem to be afraid
To live the life that I have made in song
It's just that I've been losing
So long

La la la la la
La la

I'd stop my dreaming
I won't do to much scheming these days
These days
These days I sit on corner stones
And count the time in quarter turns to ten

Please don't confront me with my failures
I had not forgotten them

Song: These Days
Artist: Nico