Right Now

-I have two tiny blood blisters on the left side of my middle finger on my right hand.
-I'm pretty hungry.
-I'm contemplating popping said blisters.
-I wish I was playing a piano right now.
-I think theres some chicken parm in the fridge, but then I'd have to get up and wake up my cats who are sleeping right up against my sides.
-I started wearing my glasses again like I'm supposed to.
-This school year is almost over and it was by far the scariest thing for me to face ever.
-I'm fighting again with my old group of friends and I'm expecting to be jumped by said group but, I'm not even worried.
-I want to visit STAC at LEAST once more before school lets out for the you guys.
-this was a pretty big year (musically) for myself. I really cracked down with some guitar techniques, got a lot better at drumming, and learned piano (not my typical half-assed version of learning an instrument, but rather, really took the time to learn and practice)
-I've let some work slip by me and I can't say I'm happy.
-These blisters are killing me.


---> I'm going to eat that chicken parm now.

Things Going On:

1) I haven't talked about art in a long time and it fucking blows. I mean, I've talked about it, but not to people who I think really understand "art" in the way that anyone from STAC does. (both students, alumni, Luke, and anyone who came in to do a workshop)

2) I haven't gone to the city as much as I'd like and the times I did go, I went with people I really didn't want to go with in the first place.

3) I'm just starting to get into whats going on around the world again for the first time in a year and I feel like an infant in that aspect.

4) I want to have the time to go to places spontaneously. I wanna go to old houses, woods, beaches, etc. I just want to go.

5) I need to force myself to start writing again. I don't care if I don't like the outcome, I need to start writing again.

6) I'm the one still holding myself back. Even after everything I've learned in my life and how much I always regret not doing something, I'm still my own enemy.

7) I want Spring and Summer right away so I can start going outside more. I can take staying inside anything anymore. I'm getting some sort of cabin fever even if I'm out driving. I'm in a car, I don't want to be in a car, I want to be on my feet.

Songs I've Made

http://dl.dropbox.com/u/13509392/Where%20Have%20You%20Been.mp3 This is my first vocal cover. Ever. I did this for a friend for their birthday. The song is Where Have You Been by Manchester Orchestra.

http://dl.dropbox.com/u/13509392/Earthrise%20%28Mixed%29.mp3 This is a song Mike Mirino and Mike O'Donnel wrote recently and asked me to add percussion. The song is called Earthrise and it can only be described as "WHAT THE FUCK", what started off as a jam led to a song, which led to more jams, with led to...well...it's a structured jam.

http://dl.dropbox.com/u/13509392/19.mp3 as of tonight, I got bored and decided to make little songs using Ilana's poems like I had planned to do for STAC night but never got around to doing. At the time, I just wasn't confident with guitar at all, now I crank out little songs like these all the time. But these are special, these have ridiculous amounts of meaning that I can't even begin to fathom how much injustice I'm doing them. This is "19" written by Ilana Lipowicz.

http://dl.dropbox.com/u/13509392/165.mp3 This is another one of Ilana's poems I made. It's her poem "165" which has always been my personal favorite.

I'm still making this little poem songs, and I'm hoping to crank out maybe 5 more, I'll post them up here afterwards.

what.

I'm up. At almost 2:30am mixing songs for fun. And since I'll have the house to myself tomorrow, I'll be making songs with whatever objects and instruments I want. YES.

GOODNIGHT.

Starting to Record.

I'm beginning to record for the EP I'm putting out, which has yet to be named, and (as I said in the past) I'm doing this solely off of garageband using an audio-interface. All the songs are written with both lyrics and guitar parts and all have titles. So now, it's rough demos for me and figuring out my voice some more. If any interest is taken to my work, let me know and I'll give you a copy when I finish.

The E.P. (Track List)
1) Returning
2) The Vessel
3) The Shame; We Became
4) The Two Way Street (however, there's a good chance that I'll be dropping this song from the list)
5) The Fence, In Autumn

Lyrics for some of the songs can be found on my poetry blog, the whole Trunk Tales Of Woe business.

EP Writing Process (No Process Reference, Please)

Tracks (So Far)
1) The Vessel
2) The Two Way Street
3) The Shame: We Became

The EP, Thus Far.

So, I have a few lyrics and guitar parts that I'm dying to use, but I felt it wasn't enough. Guitar and lyrics? No. Too little. So I've recommissioned my mandolin and I'm starting to write more parts! Of course, my EP is very similar to Bon Iver's "For Emma, Forever Ago" in that (I hate to say it) there is a lot of relationship issues that need some resolving on my part that I'm trying to work out through songs. For inspiration today, I've been listening to the song Creature Fear by Bon Iver. It's message? Go forth, and cry...enjoy.

STAC, I Miss You More and More Everyday.

I just watched the STAC 08-09 and STAC 09-10 montage and I'm pretty much on the verge of tears. You don't realize how much you've grown until you look to some comparison from the past, and I gotta say, this change is mind blowing. I would not be the person I am today without the aide of STAC and everyone that I've met in and through STAC. I feel like I'm lightyears ahead of what I'm experiencing right now through my thinking and the way I handle things. I mean, the doors that were opened for me are just getting noticed by myself now (which I feel weird saying, you'd think I'd notice by now). I'm FOREVER grateful for Luke, Ganes, both the 08-09, 09-10, and past STACies that I've had the honor of working with inside and outside of STAC. I'm forever grateful for Luke especially for always being there for me and pushing me, even though I'd often put him to the side when it came to being pushed because I was just naturally lazy, but I realize now that it was nothing more than wanting what was best for me and trying to help me in experience different things in my life. But I don't want to rant, I just want everyone to know that I love you guys to pieces, I'm a mess without my family, and I hope you guys have a giant party soon so I can come visit everyone. These words are something that should not be taken in passing, I'm very much sincere when it comes to STAC and STAC related things. I love you guys, I've said it countless times, and I'll continue to say it until my jaw falls off, I LOVE YOU GUYS, past and present!

All the best in what life and STAC brings you! Keep creating!
-Nick

Lyrics

The lyrics are coming quite moderately to me. I've never been so cautious about what I write. I mean, I'm trying to beat about 500 meters around the bush without getting caught. I mean the EP is but isn't about people. People come up in the songs, but it's about what I've gone through from summer to now and why I did the things I did I suppose? Consider it about a 4-5 song apology/explanation to those who deserve one from me.

Music From a Friend

Well, it's happened, my ears can die happily. I received in the mail today a fellow STAC Alumni and dear friend, Patrick Goodsell's E.P. entitled Come Home Happy (Or Not At All) and it is nothing short of the folky excellence I expected from him. This cd came with a personal letter that was short, but heartfelt. It reads, "Nick, Thank you for your interest. I've been nervous out of my mind about people hearing this music; your support is not something I take is passing. Thank you, and enjoy, Patrick." It seems like something that he'd just write to say thanks and not seem like he didn't care about what people thought of his music and it was to show his gratefulness for wanting the cd. And as I embark on the recording process myself, I'm terrified as well to show anyone anything. I've encountered problems with my voice already and how I feel about it's state. As of now, I'm still picking 2 songs that I want to cover at least, but I'm hoping to change it to one cover at most. This E.P. is essentially going to be a tiny tiny story of my life these past few months and year, which is something I need to people to know.

-Nick

What I'm Up To...

Hey guys, I'm keeping myself extremely busy this year, you'd all be proud. I'm writing as much as I can, drawing, dipping back into photography, and now, working on recording some songs myself. I'm starting the recording off with some covers to give me a place to start and then I'm hoping to have about 3 originals. I'll be doing all the work on the cd with recording and mixing. What makes this recording process different from my other ones is that I'm strictly recording in my house and I'm currently recording in a million different spots to see where I can get the best sound, I'll keep everyone posted!

Homesick, Depression, and All Sorts of Variations.

People are going away. It's almost like some fatal illness that people brush off when hearing about it. "It'll never happen to me", etc. but what the hell do you do when it finally happens? Accept it? It's weird. One of my closest friends shipped out this morning, and I had nothing to say other than "I love you, don't go...ok go, I love you." Almost as painful as pulling sores from your ass.

Luke and I have talked about friendships, mainly the coming and goings, but he defined friendship to me as "being able to give someone space". At first, it's a completely outlandish idea to me, but after a week or two, it settled in and I've never forgotten it. Essentially, this is for all of you who are going to be seniors. You'll all do better than me.

Hello.

Essentially, I'm back. This summer (so far) has been the biggest wake up call to me. I changed a lot towards the end of the year, and not for the better. This week I realized just how long it has been since I've written anything on my blog that I almost completely forgot about and I immediately ran to the computer. I've been working 7 days a week, lost 2 of my best friends, made a few new friends, had an intervention about my not owning a drum set with my band, been recording and writing with the boys in the band, rekindled past relationships, and like always, continuing to learn as I go on. I realized just how damn lucky I was to have STAC in my life, and I regret not fully understanding just how big it is until now.

To Luke, I owe you quite an apology. This year was just a bad year and I acted on my emotions more than I have ever in my life. I apoologize for upsetting you in anyway. You were always more than a teacher to me. You were always a friend I could go to about anything and not feel any sort of pressure. I know you always just wanted to push me in a positive way to things that would help me, and I always seemed to have gotten too afraid to give it my all. I'll have you know, that has changed and it's because of everything you taught me. Thank you.

To everyone else in STAC (both past and present), I'm sorry I haven't been there for all of you. I've been using the summer as a hibernation and it's not fair. I was afraid of growing up and it took me this summer to realize whether I wanted it to happen or not, it was. I actually believed I had a choice, which was EXTREMELY childish of me. I want ANY OF YOU to contact me if you EVER need help with anything! Whether it be artistically or just need someone to listen about whatever, I'm here for ALL of you. I'm willing to take this head on. I'm doing this for all of you. My family.

I love all of you. I'm back.

Rob's Workshop

Last Friday I went to Rob's workshop and it couldn't have happened at a better time! I actually have started to rekindle my interest in photography, but that's besides the point. Rob's workshop was really relaxed and fun. We looked at some photographs and talked about the lighting and how it effects the photograph itself and the message it gets across, he showed us this through 2 different photographs by 2 different photographers, I forget their names, but they were awesome! Then he told us about the Secret book and how people write down their secrets on a postcard that has some sort of art on it and they send it in to be published in the book. Rob told us to each get a bit of paper and write out our secrets on it and then our partners had to photograph us thinking about the secret or photograph the secret coming "alive" through us and then we had to get a picture of ourselves as the person we present to other people (this reminded me of Jim and the idea of the mask everyone wears). After we got a few shots of our partners, we had to go outside and take a picture of ourselves and things which spoke about who we were as a person. I really got into the whole natures-leaving-us aspect of outside and got a pretty cool shot of some sort of writing in the pavement. Overall, I really dug Rob's workshop, I just wish we had more time to actually do the photo-shoot with our partners but I suppose with more limited time and limitations, the more likely it is you won't mess around and you can actually get a good shot.

Dave's Workshop #2

So this time around, things got more difficult. It's known that I'm not the best bassist, and I'm not saying it out of low self-esteem, but because I never got that far with lessons and I've never really played bass seriously. Dave was talking about techniques that are really simple for a lot of people, but for me, it's incrediabley difficult. I don't think I was really meant to be in his workshop to be quite honest, and it's not your fault. I don't think you knew my level of capabilities on the bass, but I'm no where near good enough (even with practice) to be good for another workshop with Dave. This is for more advanced musicians who know all their scales, capabilities, playing techniques, etc. I am not one of those people. I can play any standard rock song, those aren't hard, but Jazz is a whole other world that I'm not at all ready for. I need more practice on my own with bass before I can consider it. I don't want to hold the group back, so despite our talk yesterday, I think it's best I leave Dave's workshop. If you wouldn't mind, I'd love to work with Robin, he's helping me with mixing songs, which is something I've wanted to pursue since I started running sound and I've been doing a lot of it this year. I'm sorry again and to Jack, Jesse, and Leah, you guys are great players, it was fun when I wasn't messing up!

Dave's Workshop #1

Thursday was the first day of the jazz workshop with Dave. During the workshop we talked about a very popular jazz standard called Giant Steps by John Coltrane. Leah, Jack, and Jesse played scales played up and down in half-step intervals. I couldn't join in on the scales because the furthest I've gotten in my lessons was the C scale and I believe the G, I'm not entirely sure. I was really nervous for the workshop because I heard that Dave doesn't put up with people that don't know their stuff, and I'm not the greatest bass player, but Dave was pretty easy on me and that really made me feel more comfortable. He assigned Jesse and I to practice some scales for the next workshop so I've been practicing my scales. Next workshop I believe we'll be playing Scrapple From The Apple by Charlie Parker and I'm looking forward to it quite a bit. I want to actually be able to play songs and not just take the root notes and just hold those out, my goal is to become a more disciplined bass player after this workshop and a more comfortable one too, I'm already on my way!

STAC Book Presentation

Today I talked about the book, Wittgenstein's Poker by David Edmonds and John Eidinow. I think my presentation went well, but it was pretty short. I feel I spoke too much about how the book effected me than the actual book itself. I gave a really broad interpretation of the book and didn't touch on anything specific. I think for my next report, I'll avoid comparing it to my life and how its helped me and find an equilibrium between me and the content in the book.

Recently...

Recently, I started a band with a few friends. It's probably the most fun I've had in a band in a long time. I haven't taken it too seriously and I'm playing drums again for the first time in a while for a band. I'm actually having fun. Music is fun again. But anyways, we decided that we'd lose the first song we wrote and write a better one in it's place. I wrote lyrics for it and again, another first in a long time. I haven't written seriously on my own in what feels like a year. I claimed to have a bad case of writer's block, but I think I was just scared to try it again. But as I was writing, I wasn't getting angry, I wasn't throwing out page after page. I just wrote. It all seemed to make sense to me. I thought I'd share the lyrics with you guys. It's not one of my best works, but, regardless, it's mine.

I know this place,
too many familiar back streets;
you and your intentions
pressed to streets.

Lets keep this between you and I,
once more, please.

Pick it up
pick it up
and kindly take your leave
kindly, you've been fine
I know you mean well.

Pick it up
pick it up
and kindly take my place,
you're doing just fine
I wish I meant well.


So those are the lyrics. Bit short, but I never wrote lyrics that were long anyways.

Why do I do?

Why do I do what I do? I wish it was simple, but there's nothing in art that's simple. Each thing I do is very similar. I write, I play music, I act, and I draw when I can. I started writing because I had to, not because I wanted to. I needed to get the phrases I'd get in my head out and the only way it'd work was with paper and a pen. I'd write my poems on anything I could find to relieve my head from the attacking stanzas. After a little while of writing, I began to play music. Music had always made me move. I don't mean dance, I'd keep tempo with my hands and feet and I'd be moving my head back and forth with the song playing. Hell, I'm even doing it now listening to a song. I got my first guitar in the 4th grade. A Fender Strat that was my dad's friend's and he didn't use it anymore. I got rid of it, but if I still had it, it'd be known as the catalyst for my interest in music in every aspect. I act because it's what I've been doing my whole life and I never realized. I was constantly doing odd things as a kid that I knew would either make people laugh or get annoyed. I can't stop acting...it's pretty much who I am, not who I'm not. All these things take quite a toll on me mentally and physically and drawing is how I relax from it all. But I suppose all the pain and fatigue that I get through my art is something I don't mind. I'd rather die doing something I'm disgustingly proud of and have scars and bruises to show for it then working at some office confined to a cubicle. My life is sacrificing my body and mind for my art. My art is product and subject to change of me. I am my art.

365...

I'll be showing you the evolution of my bass that I'm building. Before I can show you it, you should see my other basses and where the inspiration for the body came from. I've combined elements from my 4 basses to create the bass I'm building.



The red bass is my newest bass, and most prized bass. A red Spector bass with one passive EMG humbucker. This bass gives me the capability to play a nice warm song and, if I so desire, a bright funk slap and pop groove all with the turn of a knob. This bass pretty much says I can do anything you can throw at me, which ties to my optimistic outlook on things.

The middle, an epiphone knock off precision bass. I didn't really ever care for it to be honest. I just wanted another bass that I could throw flat wound strings on. These past couple of days, this has been my go-to bass when it comes to practicing. I'm trying to see what kind of tone as a bassist I prefer, and I'm leaning more towards to low warm tones of this bass. I suppose I can only define this bass as the beginning of a summer night, before it gets too dark and its still cool out.

The final bass in this picture is my second oldest bass in my possession. A 4 string Ibanez Gio with GHS Boomers on. If your a musician, you'd know that this bass is the brightest sounding of all my instruments. The GHS strings are really in your face and give off a slap sound even with a pluck of a pick or the pluck of my index finger. I only use this bass for fast music to capture the meaning of the given song. This bass has an attitude of it's own and is completely underestimated by me every time I play it.



This bass is my Squire 5-string and has undergone surgery. This bass is the reason I got into building. I did this bass whilst going through my folk phase. This bass has changed, but is still the bass I bought regardless of the look. This bass is sweat in the grain and I've got the arms to prove it. This bass taught me to take my time with things, and to wait for the end, it's always the best part.

It's with great pride that I unveil to you the bass I've been building. The picture doesn't capture the flaws as much as I'd like it to. Despite the way it looks now somewhat, it still has a ways to go before it's even CLOSE to being done.



Tober Bass #0709 From now until it's completion, I'll be putting up pictures everyday after I work on this bass. Enjoy the show.